The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”
“Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
Doctor to nurse: There is some problem in my stomach, please call the doctor.
Nurse: What is the need of another doctor if you are yourself a doctor?
Doctor: Because my fee is twice more than others.
Patient: I think I have got fever.
Doctor: Don’t worry, I am giving you one syrup, just take 3 spoons a day for 2 days, you will be all right.
Patient: Impossible, I don’t have six spoons in my home!!
Lady: Doctor! my baby is always crying for one hour after get up in the morning???
Doctor: Not a big problem, just get your baby up one hour late.
Patient: Thank you doctor, for you only I am getting well.
Doctor: I haven’t done anything, actually God did cure you.
Patient: Just return my money back, I will give it to God.
Sardarji: Doctor, please do something, my fingers are crushed.
Doctor: How?
Sardarji: I was trying to count number of tooth of my cow just by entering my hand into her mouth but at that time she closed her mouth for counting my finger.
Doctor: "You've had a pretty close call. Its only your strong Constitution that pulled you through."
Patient: "Well, doctor, remember that when you make out your bill!"
Doctor sent a bill to his patient along with a letter. In the letter, he wrote: "This bill has been one year old".
The patient returned the bill with the comment: "Congratulation on it's first birth day!
Thing You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
Fire! Fire!
Everyone get out!
A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful." Flattered, the wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later, her husband woke up and said, "You're cute." Startled, she asked him, "What happened to 'beautiful?'" He replied, "The drugs are wearing off."
A patient complained to his doctor, "I've been to three other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis." The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy, then they'll see that I was right."
A worried patient tells an ophthalmologist: "Doc, I am very scared about the outcome of the operation on my left eye. What are my chances?"
Grinning doctor to the patient: "Hey don't worry, you won't be able to see the difference."
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