Doctors have gone on strike.
Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!
Dermatologist: Good News! After looking through your test results, I’m happy to report you will no longer be plagued by pimples
Girl: Wow! That’s great! Why?
Dermatologist: There’s no more space.
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. A student nurse found an elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need her help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let the nurse wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, she asked him if his wife was meeting him.
‘I don’t know’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown’.
Tom: "What made you leave the dentist's office?"
Ted: "I heard the assistant say to relax, it's only a tooth were pullin'".
Tom: "Ok, so why didn't you relax and get it pulled?"
Ted: "Cause she was talking to the dentist".
Bob goes to his doctor and hands him a note that says “I can’t talk! Please help me!”
“Okay,” says the doctor. “Put your thumb on the table.” The man doesn’t understand how that will help, but he does what he’s told. The doctor picks up a huge book and drops it on the man’s thumb. “AAAAAAAAA!” the man yells. “Good,” says the doctor. “Come back tomorrow and we’ll work on B.”
The doctor was explaining the seriousness of patient’s condition to him and asked him if he wanted to be resuscitated.
“How should I know?” patient replied. “I’ve never died before!”
"Has there been any insanity in your family?"
"Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."
The psychiatrist really helped the patient a lot. Patient would never answer the phone, because he was afraid. Now he answer it whether it rings or not.
Three doctors are waiting in line to get into the pearly gates.
St. Peter comes and asks the first one, "What is your contribution in earth to enter Heaven?" "I am a pediatrician and have brought thousands of Lord's babies into the world."
St Peter replies, "Good enough to enter the gates."
The same question is asked of the second doctor. He says, "I am a general practitioner and go to Third World countries three times a year to cure the poor."
St. Peter is impressed and allows him through the gates.
The third doctor steps up in line and knowing the question, blurts out, "I am a director of a HMO."
St. Peter thinks for quite sometime and says, "Fine, you can enter Heaven...but only for 2 days."
De' Souza went to doctor: "Doctor, How can I ever repay you for your kindness to me??
Doctor: No problem, you can pay it by any method - cheque, money order, or cash.?
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